I have tried hard and fast in trying to find answers as to if these are by-products of stress, anxiety and tiredness or maybe even spiritual. All I can say is that it's still very much a trial and error stage. Lately I find it more compelling to want to try something new at work. As I mention in my previous post, to manage my own centre. There are new senior activity centres coming up and from my past year's interaction with beneficiaries, I felt I can and want to contribute more. It has nothing to do with karma points or getting bored with my current position but just the fact of being able to contribute and doing more. A close friend once compare herself with me to say that I had made great sacrifices and makes a difference in others' livelihood in doing what I do now but my reply to her was that I'm just doing what I thought were right and she can too. Personally it was a promise to myself that I will make it a point to touch others and extend a helping hand whenever I can during my 3 months stay in the hospital.
It has been a good year and the end will surely be a wonderful one. Kiddo is getting all ready for P1 next year, finally my 2nd bro is getting married, parents are in good health, wifey is getting a good transfer to a position of her choice, my college friends are getting the Xmas dinner tradition back together again and for me, life are as simple as I want it to be. Well if only my health can be more rational, I think it would certainly lift everyone's spirits and I do missed the travelling too.
Something has been bugging me for a couple of years already. At first, it felt like a leech - sucking the life out of me but for the past year I learnt to deal with it mentally and living with it. Nope I ain't talking about my receeding hairline or my pimple scared face due to my hormonal changes. HaHa. I once watched a Japanese TV program about how to carry heavy boxes without feeling the weight. You just simply put an empty box underneath the heavier ones. For me, I simply don't think about it and occupy myself with helping others than just focusing on my own problem.
Frankly I'm human too, I get swayed by desires, wants, wishes and power all the time but just like when you are angry you take a deep breath and relax before speaking your mind. When hit by all the unwanted, just stay cool and ask yourself if you really need them. It's nice to see or watch a pretty lady goes by but is she gonna be anything more than an eye candy? If the answer is No then enjoy the temporary nice scenery then. You felt there are too much politics and gossips in the office and compel to join them for fear of being a victim if you don't. Then ask yourself is that you and do you really have time for that, don't you have more productive things to do?
Always remember, ask what you really want for yourself and your love ones and not what the situations, circumstances, the environment and others dictates for you. Be your own boss without having a real business cause your life is your business!
